Recently in Barstool Philosophy Category

Bet you don't see that title every day. Today's mini-rant and QOTD courtesy of USA Today:

Nearly 3 million homeowners were behind on their mortgages at the end of last year, the Mortgage Bankers Association (MBA) said last week. An additional 1 million-plus borrowers were at risk of imminent foreclosure.

When an ordinary citizen gets in over his head, Mortgage Bankers say, "Awww, that's too bad.". Now that Mortgage Bankers have gotten in over their head, this ordinary citizen is tempted to say the same thing. However, I can only say this from the comfort of my locked-in interest rates on my mortgage, credit cards, and auto loan for the next few years. Hopefully, the crisis will have been dealt with before I need to ask anyone for money again.

First hummingbird sightings at CrabAppleLane:
March 14, 2001
March 17, 2002
March 10, 2003
March 20, 2004
March 12, 2005
March 12, 2006
March 11, 2007
March 9, 2008

Quote of the Day

I can't get you to pay if you've got no skin in the game.

Dennis Lauria, Lender and loan servicer

Blog of the day here.

Quote from said blog: "It might be a chick thing. I’m not sure. It could just be a wacko thing."

One of the products I deal with daily is made of glass, plastic, and metal. They usually weigh about 10 pounds and retail from $200 each to about $1500 each. The one I talk about today is worth a little over $500. Included in that retail price is maybe $2 worth of packaging. Also factored into that retail price is the outrageously high number of damage claims due to shipping and handling. They get tossed around. Back in the day, shippers used to mark a package “Fragile” or “Handle With Care”. Apparently, that isn’t enough any more. To the rescue comes a new kind of warning label. I received a package that sported one of these yesterday. Mine was green. As Adrian Monk might say, “Here’s the thing”: The product was in its own box. The shipping genius then fashioned another, MUCH larger box out of two boxes that he/she must have had lying around and placed the product inside of it with no other packing material whatsoever and slapped that green warning label on it. It was kind of like a shoe box with only one shoe in it. If you move or tilt the larger box, the smaller one inside was going to get jostled. The warning label did what it was supposed to do. It was RED when I saw it which meant it received rough handling. Luckily, the product inside was undamaged.

I deal with another product daily that is hazardous. You have to be certified to ship hazardous material but you don’t have to be certified to receive hazardous material. Someone else needs to figure out the logic to that because it still mystifies me. Anyway, these products retail from $600 to $800 and are labeled “Explosive: Ground Shipping Only” or something like that. They get tossed around, too. Not only do they get tossed around but I once received one of these where a shipping genius slapped an overnight air freight label over the “Explosive: Ground Shipping Only” label and put it on an air carrier. That one came to me sometime after the ValuJet crash because I remember thinking about it. The thought that something intended for me could cause an airliner to go down? It bothered me. Hopefully, that sort of thing can't happen any more but yesterday's incident doesn't give me much comfort.

NO ONE IS READING THE LABELS

Got any shipping nightmares? I probably have another couple of hundred but I'd like to hear yours.

Quote of the Day

We had a lot of luck on Venus
We always had a ball on Mars
Meeting all the groovey people
We've rocked the Milky Way so far
We danced around with Borey Alice
We're space truckin' round the the stars

Deep Purple, Space Truckin'

Blog of the day here.

Quote from said blog: "The OS-engineering world is pretty small. A surprising number of Windows employees have worked at Apple in the past. And vice versa. Are these guys stealing?"

Whenever I tell people that we have rabbits as house pets, we usually get three responses:

1) You keep them in your house? I thought you only kept them in cages outside!

2) Why rabbits? Aren't they kinda boring? I had a rabbit as a kid. All it did was sit in a cage all day and do nothing.

3) Can you really believe anyone would actually vote for Hillary Clinton as President of the U.S.?

Well let me answer these questions one at a time:

1) It's true, rabbits are wonderful in-house pets and you don't need to keep them outside in cages in order to enjoy them. In fact, there's a wonderful website by the House Rabbit Society dedicated to educating people that rabbits are loving, friendly, and wonderful pets to keep inside the house. Do they require a lot of care and attention? Sure, but so do dogs, but unlike dogs, rabbits don't bark. Is it true you'll never view a bowl of Cocoa Puffs the same way ever again? Sure, but rabbits will use a litter box just like a cat does. (Of course, unlike cats, rabbits will often tell you where they prefer their litter box to be. But once that agreement is reached between bun and human, they do quite well.)

2) All I can say is, if someone put YOU in a small cage and only came to visit and replace your water and food once or twice a day, that's all you would do as well. In our experience with rabbits, they like a good-sized cage or play area with plenty of opportunities to be let out for human bonding and exercise. Because they're prey animals by nature, rabbits actually prefer the confines of a larger cage or play area than, say, having the run of a house. Rabbits have a lot more personality than people give them credit for - they can actually be quite demanding about how they're handled and how their surroundings are arranged. They make wonderful companions, always bring a smile to your face, are easy to take care of once you get the hang of it, and never have to be taken out and walked on a cold, snowy morning. More than anything, they love to be loved.

Have you always wanted to own a rabbit? Have you ever thought of it but are either nervous about it and want more info about it? Just leave a comment and we'll hook up. We've had a number of them over the years and have a lot of experience in making it easy for other people to own them as well. If you're truly up for it, give it a try - they never fail to surprise and delight.

Oh, I forgot to answer question 3: Believe me, I have the same question, and have raised it more than a few times over at Goodboys Nation weblog, but that's a topic for another day...

Something about me you didn't know: I prefer a Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday holiday like we'll have this week to a Monday or a Friday holiday. When I want to take a day off to do something and I have a choice of days, I almost always choose a Thursday. It just seems to shorten the week to me and I prefer a short week to a long weekend. No need to discuss the error of my ways.

Barry Bonds to the All Star game in San Francisco. Wonder how many baseball snobs will not watch the game because of it. Not a good baseball snob but I probably won't watch it, either.

iPhone scalpers. Simply amazing.

66 days until football season ...

Quote of the Day

It’s awesome, it’s the best thing I ever saw in my life. Once people see this phone they are going to want one. Everybody I show this phone wants one, even people who were anti-iPhone.

Jerry Gregory, New York private detective

Blog of the day here.

Quote from said blog: "The Shamus is always declaring fatwas. His latest was against this silly American Film Institute list of the top 100 U.S. films of all time."

I'm beginning to think security and insecurity are like flammable and inflammable. Apologies to anyone who postulated that idea before I did.

86 days until football season ...

Quote of the Day

J. Geils was right. Love stinks. You can dress it up in sequins and shoulder pads, but one way or another, you're just gonna end up alone at the spring dance strapped in uncomfortable underwear.

Veronica Mars

Blog of the day here.

Quote from said blog: "It helps me to lighten up the fact that I've just done something or didn't do something that will land my kids in therapy as adults."

Picture of the day via Fragments from Floyd. Looks like a painting ... truly spectacular. Fred always takes great pictures.

Movable Type and the CrabAppleLane host servers hate each other and I’m getting very tired of it. That's what all of the "Internal Server Error" messages are about. One of them may have to go and I have a new two year agreement with my host server.

The long week of anticipation continues ...

This piece by Bob Ford of the Philadelphia Inquirer has been my favorite article this week, maybe this year. He was in the SuperDome for that wildly entertaining game Saturday night between the Saints and the Eagles The quote I love is this:

Perhaps with one more possession, David Akers could have gotten a chance to tie the game. Maybe with one more stop, things would have been different and the silence would have spread to every corner of this city.

We'll never know, because when it counted most, the Eagles couldn't stop the New Orleans offense.

And that's what all the hollering was about.

The whole thing is excellent but I think “that’s what all the hollering was about” might become part of CrabAppleLane’s permanent lexicon because I surely hope to be hollering this Sunday and maybe even a Sunday in February.

Quote of the Day

I am happy for New Orleans. I think it's a wonderful story for their city, but this fairy tale ends when they come to Chicago.

Senator Barack Obama, D-Illinois

Blog of the day here.

Quote from said blog: "Replays show Gould and Maynard celebrating long before the kick actually went through. But the second the signal went up, it was just pandamonium."

The World Series gets underway tonight and most of the smart money is saying Detroit in five. Or four. Of course, smart money also chose Padres in four against the Cards, Mets in five against the Cards, Yankees in three or four against the Tigers, Twins in five against the A’s, and the A’s in six or seven against the Tigers. Money aint all that smart. That said, I like the Cards in seven. I aint all that smart, either. And, once again:

Probably the last time we'll ever hear the Dixie Chicks perform the National Anthem (Right-click and save, please). It’s our loss. This recording was from the Super Bowl a few years ago and it is the best rendition of it I've ever heard. So they swam against the political tide. Once. BFD. Who hasn’t? And to those who think they should stick to music and stay out of politics, that’s absurd. If you disagree, don’t bother to say so because someone will just say you should stick to whatever it is you do for a living.

Another web phenomenon. This time via Lisa. I had no idea. Apparently, this list has been appended many times. Some of them are hilarious. My fave is #89:

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Presented without comment.

Rocketing rabbit is the best I could do after an embarrassing number of attempts. I can thank my sister for that 30 minutes that I’ll never get back.

Quote of the Day

There's one more kid
That will never go to school
Never get to fall in love
Never get to be cool.

Neil Young, Keep on Rockin’ in the Free World

Blog of the day here.

Quote from said blog: "But the Cardinals are a good team, it's time for LaRussa to win another World Series. It's time for Jim Leyland to win a World Series, and the Tigers are a good team too."

Even though meterologically-speaking June began last week, in places like Phoenix or Las Vegas (and probably Bush, LA as well), it's already been summer for a month. Today in Las Vegas, it's 107 outside but %$#@! freezing cold in this over-air conditioned conference room I'm blogging from. The conference speaker drones on stage here inside, but I find my thoughts turning to exploits more in keeping with the season outside.

Of course, summer is a perfect time for escapist entertainment. For some, this means soaking up some rays on the beach or in the backyard with a good book or two. Me, I'm currently working on Richard Williams' updated version of his classic Phil Spector bio, "Out of His Head", with Dominic Priore's SMiLE on deck, but those whose tastes incline towards classical literature might find one of Powerline blog's personal list of great American novels worth checking out. I'm glad to see Fitzgerald's "The Great Gatsby" on the list, but believe strongly Michael Shaara's "The Killer Angels" worthy of their consideration.

And, of course, you have the summer blockbuster movie as a way to escape the heat. But what to see? Everything out there looks like crap to me. I've never bought into the Jennifer Anniston "America's sweetheart" mystique, so "The Break-Up" is out, and everything else looks like rehashed tripe to me. I mean, come on - a new "Superman" and "The Omen"? Weren't the Christopher Reeve and Gregory Peck classics good enough? Isn't there anyone in Hollywood capable of developing original work anymore? It'll be cheaper to pop my own corn, make a couple of boat drinks, and watch the Encore movie channels on the Dish at home.

And what's better on a steamy summer day than an ice-cold beer to make the day complete? The question, of course is what beer? Were I in Louisiana swingin' on a hammock, catching the BoSox on XM Satellite Radio, and swatting mosquitoes, I'd go with a Dixie Blackened Voodoo or the obligatory Samuel Adams Boston Ale. For those who can't make up their minds, however, the loons at Fraters Libertas have published their own beer ratings. One might quibble with their findings, but it's tough to argue with their methodology - after all, you gotta drink 'em to rate 'em!

Ahh yes, summer. Only wish I was outside in it. Oops - that squeaking feedback means the next speaker is getting ready to queue up. Back to reality...

Greetings from blistering hot Las Vegas and reporting live from the beautiful Rio Hotel and Casino. If you haven't stayed here it's definitely worth your consideration. Today I thought you might like to see Las Vegas through the eyes of The Great White Shank, so hop on board. Don't worry about the meter, I'll pick up this one, you can get it next time.

Our tour starts at the northern end of the Strip. I can't think of a better way to start the day than a light breakfast at the Peppermill. In the front, they have a nice restaurant (word has it that Penn Gillette stops by after most of his shows for a Cobb Salad). After breakfast, I'm thinkin' it might be a good idea to kick those cobwebs out with a foo-foo drink at the Fireside Lounge, just behind the restaurant's hostess desk. Here, you can understand why this bar is called Vegas' #1 make-out lounge! The room is dark and cozy - perfect for a day like today when it's already pushing 100 before noon - bathed in red, pink, purple, and blue neon light. Here you'll find secluded booths, one with a small pond and fire emerging from the center, the others featuring small theaters in the round outfiited with plasma TVs. The bar is big enough to be welcoming, and the waitresses are all quite tall and beautiful, dressed in black, low-cut cocktail dresses. Very elegant or playful - whatever your mood may be.

We're now walking south down the Strip and ducking in and out of shade wherever we can find it. We pass the Wynn and The Venetian but don't go in - The Great White Shank eschews super-large hotel/casino complexes - but you may want to take them in never the less. A Roman Catholic priest is standing in the hot walkway taking donations for Las Vegas' homeless. I make a donation and receive a blessing, which makes me feel ahead of the game already. We pass Harrah's and the Imperial Palace, then find ourselves face-to-face with a midget dressed as a leprechaun, announcing free shots and an 18-hour happy hour at O'Shea's Casino's new Double-Down Bar. As much as the $1 drafts sound enticing on such a hot day, we're still fighting a wee bit of a hangover from last night and in the mood for something more exotic than beers and shots.

We find it just a little further down at Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville, a restaurant and bar with one of the best gift shops you'll ever find. We're not ready to eat yet, so we do a little shopping, picking up some some Buffett-themed Hawaiian shirts and a "It's 5 o'clock Somewhere" T-shirt that will make perfect cruisewear when Mrs. Shank and I do a 7-night Hawaiian cruise in late September to celebrate our 20th anniversary. After all this shopping I'm feeling a little peckish, so why not grab a table for lunch and some boat drinks? I order me up a Bubba's Big Bamboo - banana rum, black rum, vanilla rum, Triple Sec, orange juice, and coconut cream - and the liquid is like a plasma IV attached to one of my veins. One drink down and another on order - boom! no more hangover. A very blackened Mahi-Mahi with mango salsa and rice completes a wonderful dining experience, and we're ready for whatever might come our way as Vegas prepares for another night of mayhem and madness dressed in all its gaudy glitter.

Greetings CrabAppleLane Blog afficiandos from Arizona and The Great White Shank, the humble host of Goodboys Nation weblog ("Righting the wrong with a heady mix of golf, politics, and religion"). Your host Rob has graciously offered me this six-figure gig of guest-blogging for him this week while he takes a much-needed and much-deserved break from the stresses and strains of life. I thank him for this opportunity and hope I can live up to the lofty standards his audience has come to expect from CrabAppleLane Blog!

Why The Great White Shank, you ask? Well, Goodboys Nation comprises a group of 30 or so guys who, for the past sixteen years, have at one time or another golfed together around the same weekend in July back in my home state of Massachusetts. The one requirement in Goodboys Nation is that everyone have a nickname, and given my innate ability as a lefty golfer to work the ball consistently from left to sharp left, well, there you go.

As a passionate lover of New Orleans and south Louisiana, and most of the flora, fauna, birds, trees etc. in that area of the world I find so exotic (I say most, 'cause me and mosquitoes have never gotten along), I was attracted to Rob's easy prose and marvelous photography following the post-Katrina mess, and am glad to have made CrabAppleLane a regular stop on my daily tours around the blogsphere. While there's no photo-blogging at Goodboys Nation at the present time, I think you'll find Rob and I both like to mix our observations on life and leisure with the occasional serious topic of interest as a reminder that the things in life we all too often take for granted can be whisked away in a moment in time.

They say that every person in this world is connected to one another 2 or three times removed, and in the case of CrabAppleLane Blog and Goodboys Nation, it's absolutely true. Seems my good friend Warren (Billy) Vincent, who raps under the name Dollar Bill, is a Louisiana native around the same age as Rob who believes their paths might have crossed once or twice while growing up back in the Dark Ages. Go figure.

During this week, I hope I'll be able to keep the home fires burning without completely destroying Rob's core group of visitors and friends. If you like what you're seeing, I hope you'll take the time to comment. (If you don't, well, feel free to provide feedback too - I can take it!) Of course, I hope you'll enjoy this week of posts enough to add Goodboys Nation to your list of favorites and not be a stranger there. Well, enough for now - I'm off to catch a plane to Las Vegas for a business trip (side note: why companies schedule business trips to Las Vegas and plan daily 12-hour agendas I'll never know - heck, if you want to do that, send everyone to Madison, Wisconsin, for God's sake!). Will catch everyone tomorrow.

Peace,
The Great White Shank